The Ugandan Rolex With A Twist In The Ingredients

Finally Uganda got a fast food that was marketed as being authentically Ugandan. The Rolex was credited to a hungry young Ugandan who in an attempt to make a quick hearty meal rolled a chapati with an omelette and the rolex was born. It was designed to cater to the needs of the financially constrained market but the rolex has been embraced by nearly everybody, from the boda rider for lunch to the bank executive leaving the bar at 5am. The rolex is made in nearly every part of the country and new varients of the classic and iconic dish have been created.  Who are we not to make it bigger and better?

Uganda has been credited with being the largest consumers of pork in the world which is surely no mean fit.

To celebrate these two items that make Uganda stand out, we have merged them to deliver The Porlex!

Made with pulled pork, the prolex is a dish to savor. Picture the succulent pork strips with notes of ginger and lemon tied in with a perfect fluffy two egg omelette with “Nyanya Mbisi”. Simply something to die for.

The porlex as seen through the lens of NZE_EVE

Here is the recipe:

Ingredients

  • 200g pork (Fat removed)
  • 2 tomatoes
  • 2 small onions
  • 1 teaspoon grated ginger
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • ¼ teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon soy sauce
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon chopped green pepper
  • 200ml water
  • 1 large chapati

Method

  1. Into a pressure cooker, add the pork, 1 tomato, 1 onion, garlic, black pepper, ginger, lemon, soy sauce and water. Cover and place over fire and allow to cook until the pan hisses twice, about 25 minutes. Remove from fire and displace pressure valve to allow the steam escape so you can open the pressure cooker
  2. Remove the pork from the cooker and remove the flesh from the bones. The pork is cooked on the bone to increase the flavour and improve the flavour and taste of the pork. Place the pork in a bowl and mix with the mayo. Add a bit of the cooking liquid if necessary to make it easy to mix the contents of the bowl. Set aside.
  3. Finely chop the onion, tomato and green pepper; break the eggs into a bowl and add the chopped onion, green pepper and half the chopped tomato. Beat and fry the omelet on a hot pan ensuring that the egg does not brown. Flip and cook the other side.
  4. Place the chapati on a clean plate or board and place cooked egg over the chapati. Spoon the pork mix over the egg and sprinkle with the remaining raw tomato aka nyanya mbisi. Roll up tightly and slice the porlex diagonally in half and place on a clean white plate.
  5. Lock your door and turn off your phone. Call your ex and tell them the story after you have eaten. Jealousy will bring him or her back into your arms if only for a taste of the porlex.
You want Nyanya mbiisi on the side, well you can.
Photo credit: Nze Eve

Here Are 5 Reasons Why You Should Visit Lake Mburo National Park, Uganda

It is the nearest national park to Kampala. It is only 240km away from the city and in comparison to other national parks you can set off, depending on how much time you spend taking pictures of your self at the equator or stuffing up on chicken in Lukaya you can be one with the wild of Lake Mburo in 4 hours. It’s also not too far away from major towns in Lyantonde and Mbarara district

Zebras. Lake Mburo is home to most of Uganda’s Zebras. There is an entire zebra track after the Nshara gate in Lake Mburo National Park. It is like after paying your park entrance fees, herds of them come to welcome you to their territory.  Zebras are beautiful and from their demeanour, they love to have their pictures taken.  Someone joked that the zebras have been trained by UWA to work their angles and show their good side, whenever they see a camera.  You may not come out of Lake Mburo with the answer to whether zebras are black with white stripes or white with black stripes,  but you will see enough of them to choose a side to this argument and defend it.  For example, I think they are brown with cream stripes.

The Zebra welcoming you to Lake Mburo National Park.
Photo Credit: Pipes | Kreative Adkit

A leopard. Not leopards but one leopard. We did our game drive in the morning and according to Immaculate our guide, we had zero to none chances of seeing a leopard because they are nocturnal. (Just a fancy word for they feed at night). She didn’t lie about that. However later in the evening while we drove out of the park, we saw one. Chilling by itself below an anthill probably aiming for its dinner.

The leopard in the Lake Mburo National Park, Uganda
#KoikoiUG Photo credit: Nze Eve

The bus got excited.  Fingers started being pointed. Yelling at the driver to; stop, reverse a little, go slightly ahead all at once ensued until everyone caught a glimpse of this big cat with spots (If you have no idea what I am talking about, at least you have seen leopard print fabric.) Cameras were aimed at it and all the wows and “did you see it(s)” managed to scare it away, or as I like to think we saved an animal from being dinner.

The Lake. First of all the UWA boat is new. All the life jackets are still intact so are the seats and paint so it gives a false sense of safety like crocodiles give a damn about, seats paint and inflated orange jackets but that’s not the point. The point is we love water or at least most people do. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who stopped going to the beach why they did and I will bet that the answer will be they were too crowded.  Taking pictures on the water with your shades on gives “life eater” bragging rights,  plus the breeze is refreshing.  A welcome change from Kampala’s sewer filled air ( especially if you don’t live or work in Kololo).

The Aerial view of some part of Lake Mburo
Shot by Mu | Mugasha Arnold

On Lake Mburo, you will see hippos and maybe two crocodiles and several birds. You will make jokes about whether falling off the boat will scare the crocodile away or send it running towards you piece of meat.  You will take several pictures while you are posing and others while you stare at the waves. The kind that you will put on Instagram with long “deep” captions about reflecting on life and how it’s like the waves or if you are me,  something about God being a genius. You will hardly hear anything, Rebecca, the guide, and her megaphone will say about the lake unless she is thanking you for being a lovely crowd and telling you to get the hell off her new boat. You will have spent 1 hour and 30 minutes on the lake and that will make you feel things. Good things.

Joanne and Jeddy on the #LiveThe4GExperience plan, next to Lake Mburo.
Photo Credit: Pipes | Kreative Adkit

There is nothing wrong with being a tourist. Maybe if we all gathered some Shell fuel Save and our favorite people every few months and became local tourists the people in charge will stop giving us rates in US Dollars. And when you do, load some Airtel Data Blasta and share your authentic Ugandan story. There are not very many out there.

About the Author:

 

Komusana Fiona | Sunshine – She loves to have an opinion but more than that she loves to give it, so she writes. The idea that she gets to express her opinion without looking any one in the face is motivating.

COFFEE, CROISSANTS AND CONVERSATION.

Hello, my name is David and I am a recovering couch potato. It’s hard, it really is. You wake up one day and realize you have missed out on everything, the breath taking sunsets, the smiles, the feel of grass and sand beneath your feet, everything. All because you were too absorbed, taking in one episode after the other, one 140 character rant after another, too absorbed to notice. You wake up on a day like today and realize, you missed it all.

Now I know you are tempted to say to yourself, “I have missed too much, I can’t catch up, “or “experiences are too expensive, have you seen the price of accommodation?” I know I did. I convinced myself I didn’t need to see the world. I told myself I could see it all in 45 minute bursts with perfect punch lines and background music, that I was different. I could afford to be this person.

A couple of months ago I started to have conversations with people about this little dream that started with me trying to impress a girl on the rooftop somewhere. I looked out at the sky that night and I realized, there was a hold world out there to see and I had missing. These conversations led me to a breakfast this morning with a couple of media people, bloggers and country directors. Yes I said it, country directors, let me even add, country directors of multinationals so you can know how important I feel. Though come to think about it, they wouldn’t be country directors if their company was not a multinational right? It has just hit you, hasn’t it? Well, that’s not the important part.

I met a nice gentleman called Solomon Mario Oleny who is part of local tourist group called Bayaya, a bunch of Ugandans who are about sharing cost and seeing Uganda in the most effective way. I am definitely hitching the next hippie caravan these chaps put together to see this beautiful country.

I sat down with the wonderful people from jovago.com and they told me how travelling the country doesn’t have to be expensive because they have gone out of their way to negotiate for you the best price with hotels around the country. These prices you won’t find at the hotels themselves. In doubt? See for yourself

I learnt about a magazine called The View, and got the wedding destination I have always dreamed of. A church that sits all of 4 people, possibly the smallest in the world. Now that would cut down on my guest list tremendously would it not?

A few months off my couch and I have learnt all this, saved money and found a pretty romantic way to weasel my out of an expensive wedding. This is the real winning.

So I would like to invite you to start winning. Start small, join me and a couple of friends site see, learn and photograph Kampala this weekend under the awesome initiative #Koikoiug. Come snap a photo, share with the world, meet new people and enjoy a cold one at  sunset. Register here, and let’s catch up Sunday at the #KoikoiInstawalk.

FLUENT UGANDAN

I came across this video on Facebook today about this girl who speaks “fluent American.” Basically, she was talking to this guy in the UK about something she wanted him to buy for her. She literally put the gold in gold digger, and it’s not in the way you think. On explaining to the guy that what she wanted, he said it was too expensive, “an entire 15 pounds” he said. She however could not understand why he was telling her how heavy it was instead of how much it cost.  As I said, pure gold right? This got me thinking though, what do people think of Uganda in “fluent American,” or “fluent German” or “fluent French?” What shapes their vocabulary about our country?

Very recently the dictionary was updated. They added words like ‘side-boob’ and ‘amaze-balls,’ words for so long that were not considered acceptable in the English language but now can be used in a PhD thesis. These words were being used so much that the snobbish aristocrats who decide what is and what isn’t English had no choice but to let them into their circle of acceptable lingual.

So the snobbish aristocrats of fluent American, or fluent French might think we live in trees, own giraffes or that Idi Amin is still our president, and maybe that is all the section on Uganda in their dictionary says. We however can’t tell the world so many stories about this country that they have no choice but ti expand their vocabulary. We can put 1 million photos of this beautiful country on the internet, on Instagram and by extension Facebook. We can make the world a little wiser. We can shout #koikoiug from the roof tops.

Ps: In case you are still wondering the application of the word ‘amazeballs,’well;

A.maze.balls /əˈmāzbôlz/ : extremely good or impressive: amazing.

Uganda is amazeballs. Tell someone about it using the hash tag #koikoiug.

Side boob is self-explanatory, unless of course you are six.